When newly divorced, it’s hard to imagine that you and your ex-spouse will ever be civil with each other again. Divorce puts an end to marriage but parenthood is forever.

According to a 2009 report from the Ottawa-based Vanier Institute of Family, kids who’ve lived through an ugly split are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression and self-esteem issues, and more likely to drop out of school.

I tell my stories of Co-parenting through conscious communication to help other men and women know that they don’t need to be part of that sad statistic. Conscious communication is a way of talking and listening that focuses on building healthy mutually beneficial relationships.

My A-ha came when I found my stepson chewing away at his security blanket every night until it was in pieces. My husband and I were having a profoundly negative effect on him.  We had to stop the negative patterns in our conversations with each other for the sake of our child’s wellbeing and I immediately understood that it was up to us to change.

7 success tips to start conscious communication with your ex-spouse NOW

1. Focus: Your child needs one parent as much as the other. Let your child have access to both parents freely and put his or her best interests before your own
2. Criticize: Do not take things personally. Especially, do not criticize or argue with the other parent in front of your child.
3. Respect: Greet each other in front of your child when meeting at school activities, pick-up, etc. Talk as adults and respect each other’s choices
4. Communicate: Be aware of all aspects of your child’s development. If verbal communication is difficult then email or text.  Consider your words carefully; stay calm and coherent prior to hitting send. One issue per email and/ or text message.
5. Popularity contest: Do not try to outdo the other parent by buying all kinds of electronic toys, sport activities, etc. Work as a team as much as possible.
6. New Companion: Use fair play with the other parent companion; do not bad mouth. Keep your ex-spouse informed about changes in your life circumstances.
7. Optimistic: Drop the drama, set aside any differences, be optimistic. Life gets better.

If you begin to model positive, productive behaviour through conscious communication with your ex-spouse , your child will flourish. 

My name is Anna Giannone I am a Co-Parenting Coach, Certified Facilitator and Certified Parent Instructor as well as a Transformational Leader and Paradigm Shifter for Co-parenting. With my help, families acquire and adopt Co-parenting communication and behaviours that bring peace of mind, joy and fulfillment to all; most importantly the children. My proudest achievement is my own experience of Successful Co-Parenting for the past 28 years. Now I use what I know to facilitate and educate others to transform their interactions resolving conflicts.home_page_1

 

The time is always right to help parents live their own successful Co-parenting. For more about how I can address this issue and help you walk through, please email me at:  anna@annagiannone.com and LET’S TALK !