When newly divorced, it’s hard to imagine that you and your ex-spouse will ever be civil with each other again. Divorce puts an end to marriage but parenthood is forever.
According to a 2009 report from the Ottawa-based Vanier Institute of Family, kids who’ve lived through an ugly split are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression and self-esteem issues, and more likely to drop out of school.
I tell my stories of Co-parenting through conscious communication to help other men and women know that they don’t need to be part of that sad statistic. Conscious communication is a way of talking and listening that focuses on building healthy mutually beneficial relationships.
My A-ha came when I found my stepson chewing away at his security blanket every night until it was in pieces. My husband and I were having a profoundly negative effect on him. We had to stop the negative patterns in our conversations with each other for the sake of our child’s wellbeing and I immediately understood that it was up to us to change.
7 success tips to start conscious communication with your ex-spouse NOW
|1.||Focus:||Your child needs one parent as much as the other. Let your child have access to both parents freely and put his or her best interests before your own|
|2.||Criticize:||Do not take things personally. Especially, do not criticize or argue with the other parent in front of your child.|
|3.||Respect:||Greet each other in front of your child when meeting at school activities, pick-up, etc. Talk as adults and respect each other’s choices|
|4.||Communicate:||Be aware of all aspects of your child’s development. If verbal communication is difficult then email or text. Consider your words carefully; stay calm and coherent prior to hitting send. One issue per email and/ or text message.|
|5.||Popularity contest:||Do not try to outdo the other parent by buying all kinds of electronic toys, sport activities, etc. Work as a team as much as possible.|
|6.||New Companion:||Use fair play with the other parent companion; do not bad mouth. Keep your ex-spouse informed about changes in your life circumstances.|
|7.||Optimistic:||Drop the drama, set aside any differences, be optimistic. Life gets better.|
If you begin to model positive, productive behaviour through conscious communication with your ex-spouse , your child will flourish.
My name is Anna Giannone I am a Co-Parenting Coach, Certified Facilitator and Certified Parent Instructor as well as a Transformational Leader and Paradigm Shifter for Co-parenting. With my help, families acquire and adopt Co-parenting communication and behaviours that bring peace of mind, joy and fulfillment to all; most importantly the children. My proudest achievement is my own experience of Successful Co-Parenting for the past 28 years. Now I use what I know to facilitate and educate others to transform their interactions resolving conflicts.
The time is always right to help parents live their own successful Co-parenting. For more about how I can address this issue and help you walk through, please email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org and LET’S TALK !