As with any other relationship, you will have disagreements and misunderstandings and that is also a fact in your co-parenting relationship. All fearful thoughts result in fear that creates resentments and resistance. In order to unblock and release resentments you need to change your thoughts. Let go of the past and set aside your personal feelings and focus solely on resolving the matter and initiate peaceful resolution for the benefit of your child and also for yourself.
The way I see resentment is that it’s one of the strongest anchors that sinks us back to the past. It is a state of pain that prevents us from seeing beyond who treated us wrongly, unfairly and unjustly.
With resentment still in our hearts, we are often unwilling to accept the prospect of moving past those negative sentiments that still linger in our memory. These feelings of sadness, fear and anger converts into distrust with the co-parent, providing for an already disastrous beginning.
Ultimately, resentment is the unwillingness and inability to forgive. It almost seems like sometimes we want to retain our resentment, because we don’t want to accept the wrongdoings of the past. However, keeping resentment alive in your co-parenting relationship as a means of trying to be stronger is futile in the long run, as there is no willingness to initiate a peaceful resolution or an amicable co-parenting relationship.
Feelings of prior sadness and loss that are not dealt with, causes a major negative impact on our present and future and renders it much more difficult to commence a civil relationship with the co-parent.
So how do you relinquish resentments that preoccupy your thoughts, causing negative consequences of distress that hinder the possibility of finding the solutions in your co-parenting arrangement?
- Become completely conscious of what is the source of your resentment.
- What happened to you that you felt injustice and unfairly treated?
- What did that person do that they shouldn’t have done? What should they have done instead?
- And the most important one, what unresolved longstanding history of being treated unfairly and unjustly is underneath this particular resentment? In other words, is your resentment an accumulation of other disappointments or does the resentment arise from one standalone circumstance?
Sometimes we can only relinquish resentment towards others when we relinquish resentment towards ourselves. Become connected with the reality of the negative impacts this resentment produces in your present life, and then let go.
Think about it, it does require an enormous amount of energy to continuously focus on resentment towards your ex. Ultimately, you’ll see it reflected back to you, and in the end it will only serve to consume your time, your future and your child’s well-being.
Co-parenting requires a lot of ‘give and take’, so I choose my battles wisely and I always strive to initiate peaceful resolutions, in order to ensure my child’s well-being and my relationships with others in the co-parenting mix.
So, let go release the feeling of resentment. It doesn’t serve you, nor your child or your relationships. Focus on the improvement of yourself and betterment of your child’s life by initiating peaceful resolutions.
“The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them.” – Tom Crum.
I’m a passionate and a first person advocate for Co-parenting in Harmony. I facilitate the process for co-parents to create positive changes and help improve their situation to see the value in their co-parenting relationship.
I know what it’s like; I lived it as a child and walked it as a Co-parent and a Stepmom.
Focus on what truly matters your child’s well-being and your peace of mind.
Love & Live harmoniously,
Anna is a first person advocate for Co-parenting in Harmony. As a child of divorce, stepmom, and now a proud Nana, she has 30 years of personal co-parenting experience. With her multiple certifications; Anna illuminates co-parents path to interrupt the negative patterns and create positive changes with a focus on enhancing your family life harmoniously. Anna is a Certified Master Coach Practitioner who specializes in Co-parenting and is an International Best Selling Author: Co-Parenting in Harmony: The Art of Putting Your Child’s Soul First. Anna offers solution-focused and collaborative approaches for challenges of co-parenting and stepfamily life. To learn more about Anna’s work, check out her https://www.annagiannone.com/.