Technically, divorce means the collapse of a marriage. However, a divorce or a break-up is actually the death of a relationship. It may be an unthinkable change we didn’t want to happen. Grief changes your personal and family life and triggers secondary losses. For example:
- You lose your status as a spouse
- You lose time with your kids
- You lose the family unit and extended family unit
- You lose the financial means you had as a unit
- You lose common friends
- You lose part of your sense of self
- You lose your love story …….”til death do us part”
- You lose your vision of the future, of retirement, and more
- You lose many of your dreams you both shared as a couple and as a family
When divorce happens, it’s very common to find blame and search for reasons on what caused it. One may experience a whole host of emotions that can make the divorce ugly and complicated. It becomes difficult to heal grief of divorce. Our minds are clouded as we experience anger, shock, blame, fear, accusation, resentment, disbelief, jealousy and sadness. Feelings and losses that are not dealt with will cause a major negative impact on our present and future and renders it more difficult to commence a civil relationship with the Co-parent.
In order to put the children first, parents need to process their grief, anger, loneliness, etc., so they can become better Co-parents. It’s so important to remember that whatever you are experiencing as a parent, your kids are experiencing those emotions as well.
They feel grief, resentment, abandonment, sadness, anger and more. Both kids and parents need to heal from these emotions and the grief of divorce. Consider what your kids maybe grieving:
- A picture they’ve held of a mom and dad always together
- Loss of security and safety
- Loss of secure living environment
- Possible loss of neighbourhood and friends
- Loss of routine and more
I’ve been on a personal journey, and I am noticing a great connection between the grief of losing a loved one and the grief of divorce in losing a family unit. The key is to learn how to grieve in harmony to release guilt and whatever feelings have been triggered in order to move forward and not repeat the same patterns of emotions while Co-parenting.
I am here to witness your pain with kindness and compassion to guide you to heal from the grief of divorce. Grief is a time of renewal, to shift, restore, and resolve. It is a time to redefine relationships to shift our mindsets from being spouses to now being Co-parents. This shift in mindset will promote outstanding outcomes.
Learning to adapt to Co-parenting life is not easy, and there are so many challenges. I was a child of divorce. As a married adult, I became a stepmom (that term has a negative connotation, so I prefer to refer to it as a bonus mom, it’s more positive). They were life-changing experiences. I had no guidance, no experience, and felt so alone.
This community is for you if:
- You are going through a complicated divorce
- You are struggling to have a civil Co-parenting relationship
- You want to find cohesion for the extended Co-parenting family
- You want a place where you can be heard and not judged
- You want to hear from others who understand.
By joining our community, you will have a place you could go to when you feel alone, and no one understands your emotional state. You will receive support and guidance to help you through the extra challenges of Co-parenting. Group work heals pain.
Come and Join now the online Zoom Co-parenting Community and have the opportunity to connect with other parents from all over the world to heal together. Bring your questions, share your experiences, and participate in an in-depth discussions.
We can heal together. Find support, clarity, community, and a new parenting paradigm.
Co-parenting in Harmony is possible.
Your Co-parenting Coach and Cheerleader
Anna
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