We are all going through difficult times. Covid has brought out the best or the worst in us. The New Year is around the corner and most of us are not interested in making new goals and New Year’s resolutions.
Typically, when it comes to New Year’s resolutions, most of us think about making changes to improve our lives. Changes like losing weight, getting fit, managing stress, or starting your own business or practice.
But wait a minute!
What about resolutions that improve the lives of your children and your Co-Parenting relationship? What about resolving to make your Co-Parenting relationship a harmonious one, so that you can move forward with your life, live with less stress, guilt, shame, resentment, start recognizing the amazing parent that you are AND cultivate a peaceful, loving environment for your children to thrive?
The new year is a great time to turn the page and start a new chapter and to even clean the slate in your Co-Parenting relationship. Let’s make 2021 about putting old issues, old stories and resentment to rest and starting with a fresh mindset. Above all, let’s move forward. You deserve to be happy and so do your children.
“The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new” – Socrates.
We all want to thrive and be that amazing parent in our new lifestyle, as much for ourselves as for our children. However, many of my clients are confused, weighed down by struggle and negativity, and just don’t know where to start in making their Co-Parenting relationship harmonious… or at least civil.
The most important resolution you can make is in one key area: Communication.
Specifically, effective communication and committing to sharing only child-related information with the other parent.
A Co-parenting relationship, like any other relationship, will only work well if both parties speak the same language – the language your kids need to hear. Effective communication boils down to the 3C’s: being civil, being calm and being clear. Co-Parents must have access to the same information and keep children out of the middle and away from being the messenger.
By sharing information and taking action directly with one another, you avoid miscommunication, forgotten messages and even children telling different stories and getting parents angry with one another.
Remember, you are not each other’s enemies. You are both your children’s parents, no matter how old they are. Parenthood is forever.
Start your 2021 committed to sharing information and taking action. Eventually, this will become a pattern, creating new habits and, without realizing it, you both end up following a structure that works well.
4 types of information
you’ll need to establish methods for relaying each type:
- General information – Determine how and when this information will be shared.
- Transition information – Share via email or text messages.
- Emergency information – Agree on a method of contacting each other right away.
- Paperwork information – Make a list of the paperwork that both parents want or need to see.
When you have a system in place for sharing information, the ‘taking action’ part is done with ease. With a system of updating each other and modifying information that works for you both, you will be able to put old issues to rest and start fresh.
Parents want to do what’s best for their children. They do not intend to do something that may harm or hurt their children. However, if parents do not exchange information, their child(ren) will be harmed. Sharing information and taking action with a Co-Parent is always the best practice.
Always start with a vision in mind of what you want your children’s lives be like, not only as they go through childhood, but also when they reach adulthood. Remember who you’re doing this for. What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?
Commit to moving forward. Get a solid and agreed upon plan in place for sharing these 4 types of information. Doing so will help shape your Co-Parenting relationship and make your 2021 (and beyond) a happy, stress relieved parenting relationship.
Don’t know how to start? Reach out and let me help you put an end to all the drama between you and your former spouse, so you can both better Co-Parent your kids.
It’s time for a clean slate. Let’s move forward and start sharing information with the other parent.
CREATE A RIPPLE EFFECT: Are you ready to make 2021 the year you level-up and create a harmonious co-parenting lifestyle for your children? And yourself? Join me for meaningful mentorship. Regardless of where you are in your co-parenting journey, I’m here to assist and guide you, all the way.
Co-parenting in Harmony is possible.
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