In July 2015, I published an article about ‘’WHY GO ON A BEACH VACATION WITH YOUR EX?’’ (HuffPost). Since then, so much has evolved.

The first time it took us 20 years to finally decide to take a beach vacation as Co-parents, and it was the first time my bonus (step) son was with his biological parents together on vacation since he was three years old. We went out of our way to make it a positive experience for everyone.

Going on a beach vacation back then together was doing the unthinkable, a message of undivided love. This shows your children that they matter; they are both significant and loved by you and the bonus (step) parents.

Kids deserve to have a relationship with both parents and bonus parents. Kids want to be loving and trusting. They want to love and trust that the new adult, the new “parent-type” person, is loving and accepting. Regardless of how long it has been since the divorce, having everyone together at times can feel awkward for everyone in the mix, primarily for kids. However, remember, it’s about your kids, not you or your former spouse.

Bonus parents can be a positive part of the co-parenting team. And if a bonus parent is willing, they can be a loving and supportive person in your kid’s life and an extra person to love them more. Both bio-parents and bonus parents need to be that A-team to work towards the same goal for their kids. This is the most beautiful gift you can give your children.

Throughout the years, all four parents contributed to my bonus son’s upbringing in the most positive ways we could. Today, he has become a beautiful and amazing unique man. As parents and co-parents, we taught him to spread his wings, and now I can say he is a well-balanced, loving, and loveable person and a fantastic dad. We are all so proud of him.

My bonus son has also gifted all of us a beautiful granddaughter. She is nine years old now. What a precious angel she is. She is also gifted with so much love that we grandparents, whether bio or bonus, shower her with admiration. We continue the ripple effect of love and harmony.

Unfortunately, my husband, the bio-dad, passed away. It`s been almost four years now. I’ve been a bonus mom for more than 30 years. I know without hesitation that we are one family—family first and always. This is a vow that I will never break. During my early grief, I lost myself and didn’t know if I belonged in my blended family anymore. I didn`t know how to act or even how to be.

I had a chat with my bonus son about how I felt. This was one of my biggest fears to no longer be part of the vow that I promised never to break. Co-parenting with love putting him always first, nothing changed. He told me to release my fear, and I will always be part of his and his family’s life. I am his bonus mom and the closest person to his bio-dad. Now, my (bonus) granddaughter needs to know whom my son`s bio-dad married, her Nana. That meant so much to me.

Eight years later, the ripple effect continues. My bonus son and his wife decided to go on a family beach vacation, and again we all did. It was not easy for me since my husband, the bio-dad, was not with us physically, but I know he was with us spiritually.

Travel arrangements were made so we could fly together. We kept the same tradition from our last beach vacation, this time eating all three meals together and saving places on the beach and at the pool for everyone. We participated in activities and shared many laughs, joys and playful moments. My bonus son was happy that I was part of this beach vacation, and so was I, even though my husband is no longer with us. At some point, quiet time at the beach was also respected. My granddaughter alternated nights sleeping with each grandparent. Amazing, isn’t it? Creating a ripple effect that goes beyond.

The second beach vacation was fun. We needed to set an example of how we must move forward and honour our loved ones, and so we did.

This time my grandchildren have experienced this beach vacation with their bio-grandparents and their bonus Nana. I mention bonus often so my readers can understand and have an extended vision of no differences in my day-to-day life. I am their Nana. We make no mention of bonus. We are here to teach our kids to accept differences, respect, and love one another. Children will benefit from a harmonious family lifestyle, and co-parents will help in countless ways.

Co-parenting beyond loss will always be part of me and us. Creating the ripple effect of great Co-parenting can do for our kids and the parents. It’s really about love and harmony. I continue honouring my husband’s legacy of co-parenting because now I have grandkids who are part of my life as much as theirs. Continuing the ripple effect of our new lifestyle on the next generation gets sweeter when you expand the circle.

In the future, your kids will remember what great Co-parenting can do. They remember that their bio-parents always did their best to put them first, and kids will never feel torn between their parents and bonus parents. They always thought they had extra people to love them, bonus grandparents and the extended family; everyone accepted this new lifestyle. We all matter.

Co-parenting relationships go beyond just you and your former spouse, including involving your former spouse’s new partner, their children, and other family members. As we evolve throughout this co-parenting and bonus parenting journey, we can become one big inclusive family.

It takes a village to raise a child, and I am beyond thankful for my village.

It does get better, and you will reap the rewards when you believe in making the impossible possible – Co-parenting in Harmony is attainable.

Make this your legacy.

I am Anna Giannone, a first-person advocate for Co-parenting in Harmony. Certified Master Coach Practitioner – Co-parenting Coach. I guide divorced parents to navigate the rugged terrain of co-parenting. If you’re ready to take the first step toward working with me as your Co-parenting coach, you can schedule a complimentary call with me.