In early June 2022, as I sifted through my emails, I came across a message from my former maid of honour, who also happens to be my longtime girlfriend. The opening line read, “We are honoured to have you at our wedding.” I couldn’t help but sigh as I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and paused momentarily. When I opened my eyes, a smile spread across my face as I realized she had finally said yes to her beau after 20 years of waiting.

I am overjoyed for them, but at the same time, I have mixed feelings. My girlfriend and I met at my first office job, and we shared countless memorable moments, from laughter to tears. Our connection is more than friendship; it’s a unique, loving bond I will always cherish. Even though we don’t always stay in touch due to life’s demands, it’s like no time has passed whenever we reconnect. Our relationship is magical, and I feel blessed to have her in my life.

My girlfriend, Manon, holds a special place in my heart. As I reminisce about my wedding day, I can still picture her standing beside my husband and my bonus (step) son, who was only seven then. Her joy for us was warming. My bonus son played a crucial role as the ring-bearer during our 1989 wedding, and our love knew no bounds.

Having the opportunity to share my life with my amour and bonus son has been an incredible blessing. When my husband and I tied the knot, we had a 50/50 shared custody arrangement. Looking back on that moment, I can still see myself standing in front of my soon-to-be husband, gazing into his teary, shining eyes, while my bonus son, ever so carefully holding the heart-shaped pillow with the rings, stood by our side. And, of course, my dear friend and maid of honour, Manon, beaming with a smile that warmed my heart.

As I stood there, taking in the scene of my guests sitting attentively, the background music barely audible, I suddenly spun around in a complete circle, my eyes fixed on my soon-to-be husband as if I were living in a movie. It all felt surreal, like a dream. Was this happening? Was I about to marry the man I would spend the rest of my life with? For a moment, I felt like I was floating in another world. But then my feet touched the ground, and I returned to the present.

Later, as I sat in my chair reading Manon’s wedding invitation, tears streamed down my face, and a sharp pain throbbed in my heart. I felt so empty and alone, overthinking about my dear friend’s wedding. There was no more “we” or “us” in my life; it was just me now. The love of my life passed four years ago, and the pain in my gut hit me like a strong wave crashing onto the beach. I still experience these painful waves, knowing he would have wanted to be by my side at the wedding.

After much reluctance, I finally decided to attend the wedding and asked my bonus son to accompany me. It had been over 33 years since my girlfriend and my bonus son had seen each other. He was a cute, innocent little boy then, but now he’s a strikingly handsome, mature 40-year-old man.

On August 24, 2022, my bonus son arrived to pick me up, and chills ran down my back as we locked eyes. He looked stunning in his blue suit that matched his piercing blue eyes, and we were dressed for the special occasion. I was so proud to have him by my side, standing tall. It was a day to honour his father and my beloved husband, the love of my life.

At the reception, we sat in the front row, and as the wedding music began to play, my girlfriend, the bride, walked down the aisle. Our eyes met, and we locked gazes for a few seconds. Then, she reached out to touch my hand. She knew my pain and not having him by my side. It was a moment of understanding and empathy that meant the world.

Upon seeing my bonus son at my girlfriend’s wedding, I was overcome with pride and emotion. He looked mature and handsome in his blue suit, reminding me of his father. As we celebrated the happy occasion, I felt grateful to have kept my promise always to be a part of his life.

Through my co-parenting journey, I’ve learned that it’s essential to keep an open heart and to have hope for a better future. Even when things seem impossible or discouraging, it’s necessary to believe that it will get better. Healing takes time, but with patience, mindfulness, and healthy communication, it’s possible to co-parent in harmony and create a ripple effect of love and positivity that will benefit everyone involved.

To all co-parents, stay focused on what’s best for your children and never give up on the hope for a brighter future. With love, patience, and determination, anything is possible.

Onwards to Co-parenting in Harmony.

I am Anna Giannone, a first-person advocate and founder of Co-parenting in Harmony. Certified Master Coach Practitioner – Co-parenting Coach. I guide divorced parents to navigate the rugged terrain of co-parenting. If you’re ready to take the first step toward working with me as your Co-parenting coach, you can schedule a complimentary call with me.